That’s right family, we are lucky to have another person step up to the plate and be willing to share their story on here in order to inspire others. This week our Fitness & Recovery Interview is with Kristin Smith.
Kristin is 39 years old, a mother to 4 lovely children, and resides in Colorado. She did such a wonderful job sharing her story that I will leave it verbatim for you…I am very appreciative of the courage it took for her to write all this down and then be willing to share it with others! Here is Kristin’s story about her struggles with addiction, her Recovery process, and how she’s making fitness a part of her story!
“I’m a 39 year old mother of 4, in a beautiful neighborhood in Colorado. I say that because it seems there is a certain stereotype that people give alcoholics, and it sure isn’t true in my case, as well as many MANY people who I personally know that struggle with addiction. I started drinking at 16 or 17 years old and I fell in love with the person I thought that it made me. It was the person I was too insecure to be naturally. It made me not care what others thought about me or the things I did, which in turn gave me the attention that I always craved, being the ‘people pleaser’ that I am. I pretty much drank heavily for the many years to follow with the exception of the times I was pregnant. Like everyone else, I just progressively got worse over the years.
I put myself and my children in more dangerous situations then I care to think about. Yes, I was always there for my children… But without REALLY fully being there. I totaled my car at 21 during a blackout. The police officer took pity on me and dropped me off at my front on the way to taking me in to the station. I’m not sure if that was a blessing or a curse. I escaped punishment completely so I continued on. Drunk driving with kids in tow, midnight star gazing on my roof with my young kids because it just seemed fun at the time, blowing off their school when my husband was out of town because I’d party extra hard when he was away. Vodka bottles hidden everywhere.
My husband was so oblivious I almost found it humorous. I’d hide them in plain sight. Vodka in my drink as I drove the kids to school in the morning, vodka in my water bottle during school functions and parent teacher meetings. I even took my oldest daughter to traffic court while drunk. Lies on top of lies to cover my tracks. Guilt and shame every morning at around 2 of 3 am when I woke up wondering what happened the night before.
‘How did I get in bed?’
‘Am I in a fight with my husband?’
‘What did I do?’
Empty promises of never again, only to find a drink in my hand around lunchtime or sooner. Once that first sip crossed my lips, all was forgotten. I don’t know how I got to where I was. I didn’t have the hard knock stories that so many do. I started because I liked being wild and free. I liked “having fun”. And more is always more for me!
I started realizing I needed to get sober about 7 years ago. 7 years!! I never could get longer than 1 month to a month and a half in.
Then it was back to the wine which I would of course control, which just meant back to the vodka under the kitchen sink and in the hidden compartment in my purse. On and off, on and off. I was so tired. I’m tired even thinking about it now. Sneaking money so my husband didn’t know, ugly fights when he’d catch me. Sleeping all day just to wake up to struggle with the littlest things I needed to do daily, just to drink more and go back to sleep. Great life!! So much fun!
Finally… 6 years later… On December 22, 2016 I woke up and had to finish some Christmas shopping. Somewhere along the way to the mall, I googled an outpatient rehab that I had searched a year or so before. I hit directions and at that very moment began my newest journey. My first REAL step to actual hope. Ironically at a place called Denver Valley Hope! I signed up that day and dedicated myself to 3 hours a Day, 3 days a week for 2 months. After that I would move on to continuing care which is 1 hr a week every Thursday for a year. The last day I touched a drink was December 21st and my life has been constantly moving forward, getting better and better with every day.”
And now for why and how Kristin is making fitness a part of her Recovery process….
“This last bit is so simple. It was one thing to make the decision to stop drinking and get sober, but just sitting around eating shit food and sugar because people were telling me it was acceptable and I “needed” sugar in the beginning was NOT the way to live either because I still felt terrible. I still felt extremely depressed and lethargic. I had nothing to focus on but, ‘Poor me, I can’t drink, I’m fat, I’m still tired…what’s the point??!!’ When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t even recognize the person I’d become.
So I made another promise to myself. Starting January 1st, like everybody else in the world, I was going to start getting healthy again. It was another promise I kept. It was hell at first. I hated it! I thought I’d die on the treadmill and I didn’t even dare do anything besides a fast walk. My diet was nothing extreme either. I did cut out sugar and didn’t eat carbs at night, but the rest was just common sense. So just like sobriety, one day at a time, one rep at a time, I plugged on. I had hit an all time high of 185 pounds in December. 2 weeks in…yes, only 2 weeks in, I really started to embrace my new lifestyle and I looked forward to going downstairs to my little gym. By May 1st I was down 50 pounds and building muscle. I have never felt better in my life!!! And there have been times I’ve gotten in shape, only to gain it all back plus more once I started drinking again. But this time is so different.
Every day I become stronger and stronger mentally and physically. I have people that look to me for advice or just want to know how the hell I did it. The first thing I say is I stopped drinking! For me, that was the key. The beginning to my true freedom and the beginning to me learning to find my true self. The beginning to finally being able to love myself, which is all anybody really needs anyway.
Now when I look in the mirror, I am not ashamed. There are no longer sad, lost, bloodshot eyes of a stranger looking back at me. I’m finally able to see myself through clear, bright, happy eyes. I’m able to be proud of the person I am now mentally and physically. Sobriety put me on that path, but fitness and nutrition is what keeps me focused every day. It’s what drives me and gives me the challenge to push myself every day to do better, to be better. I’m now confident that I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to because I’ve already proven I could take on the two hardest things I’ve ever faced yet, and I am conquering them every day. I’m so proud of ME!!”
Very well said Kristin, I completely relate. As they say, “I don’t know what an alcoholic looks like, but I sure know what one feels like.” I know what it’s like to have that false confidence coming from booze which seems like the magic answer to all life’s problems in the beginning. Then that answer turns into something that controls each and every decision of my life on a day to day basis. We are all so proud of you as well that you made the decision to turn your life around through sobriety.
And then there are the amazing transformation pictures which are truly awe-inspiring. Kristin truly is a member of the One Rep Brigade who faces her Recovery and fitness just one day at a time with the consistency required to make such amazing progress in such a short period of time.
If you would like to connect with Kristin you can find her here:
Facebook: Joan Crawford
Until our next fitness and Recovery interview just remember we can accomplish anything so long as we do it just One Day At a Time.
One Meal At a Time.
One Set At a Time.
One Rep At a Time.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE FEATURED AS OUR NEXT FITNESS & RECOVERY INTERVIEW SEND US A MESSAGE HERE!